I have learned throughout the years that you can’t always make everyone happy. If people can’t accept you for the way you are, then so be it. A lot of people enter into relationships/friendships expecting to change people. You cannot change anyone. People change because they want to and you may or may not have influence on that change. You would have to be completely out of your mind to believe that there aren’t people in the world who share the same personality traits as you. With that being said, people will enter and leave your life with the same or lack of these traits. However, sometimes people need change because maybe their lives aren’t going as expected due to some negative behaviors that they may be displaying. If it ultimately has an effect on their own lives, then there is a need for change. People don’t change overnight, though, and it’s definitely foolish to think that they will. My word of advice is to be yourself. If things don’t go well in your life and you feel that you need a personal change, then do so. If you feel that your negativities are causing a loved one heartache and pain, then you have to make the decision to change or distance yourself from that person (as harsh as that may sound). I believe people can change for the better if they choose to do so and if they sincerely feel that the change is needed. It’s all about what’s best for you and what will have a positive impact on your life later on down the road.
As you all can see, there is a new theme up. I honestly don’t know if I will have another theme up anytime soon. I’m thinking about just leaving the themes up that I have, for now, and blogging more often. I don’t always have the inspiration for such things and most certainly the time.
Something is up with the commenting on the new theme. When I click to make a comment, it goes back to the same page with the blog entries instead of the commenting page. =/
Anyways, I know what you mean. I’m the type of person who always thinks that I can have influence over someone changing, or who believes people when they say they will change…I’ve almost always had no luck.
I, on the other hand, am too open to change and often change for people, just to find out later that I liked the way I was before and revert.
I like the new theme, its nice and simple.
Since I moved down to Louisiana, a lot of my familly members want to change me into being some highly sociable person. People have their own expectations of you and want you to fulfill them instead of wanting you to be happy and let you do what’s best for you. It’s a mistake for people to think they can change another person. Why change go through all the trouble to change someone? If that person does change to make the other happy then they wont be happy and eventually it’ll show through. I just be myself and ignore those who aren’t happy with it.
You hit the nail right on the head with this one. My biggest flaw is distancing myself from someone whom I’m clearly aware is bringing negativity in my life. The harsh reality is that most people fail to realize that it may even be a family member. You truly love this person with all your heart at any cost even at the cost of your dignity. It took me some time to learn that even though my mother is a wonderful person, her way of living hasn’t always been pleasing to the Lord. I used to feel that her way of living was the divine way, simply becuase she is my mother and I assume she was always right. But growing older and digging in The Word, I soon learned that some things my mother partake in are not of the path that I am to walk and the only way to keep on this path is to slowly distance myself from her. I love her dearly and always will but I’m learning slowly what and where God wants me to be, a decisin she openly disagrees most of the time, but I know this the way I have to live. Thanks for the entry and God Bless.
Walildia J. Hull, 21
Aww yes trying to change someone. One of the things the boyfriend and I have argued about more than once. He’s forever telling me to talk…and that I need to talk more blah blah blah. I tell him I’ve been quiet for 35 years so I’m not about to change now so take it or leave it.
Your themes are always fresh and sharp. I like it.
I for one is big on change. I really honestly think some people need to change. Who am I to tell them that? But…I do encourage some people to. I am not fond of anti-social people that like to cling to me. That mean I’m the ONLY friend that they’re going to ALWAYS talk to. sigh!
I may sound mean or wrong but it’s alittle deeper than that with me. Long story that came with experience. But you do make some strong points.
I love the new theme, you are so talented Shannon!
People have to have motivation from within to change. You’re right, a lot of people think they can change a person but they simply can. They can help motivate them, but they’re not forcing/making that person change.
I like your posts cause they always make me relate to my own stuff and make me think about things. I think it just now hit me that I’ve been trying to change Martijn, but that change should really be his decision even if I don’t agree with his behavior lately. Hmmm.. Maybe it is better to not have expectations at all.
The new theme is really nice!!
I like the new theme. It’s beautiful! You are really talented. :cheery:
I agree with everything you said. And I have been in both situations where I wanted to change someone, and someone wanted to change me. But I’d like to think everyone can change for the better, and in the end they will.
I loves your style Shan.This theme is beautiful.
I have to admit, I use to think I could change an ex of mine, but to that it drove him away.I think it’s right to say that you can have a strong influence on someone’s life and if they change they will sooner or later.I would have to agree with post because I wouldn’t want to repeat lol.
I think your words are true… however I’m a believer in people change. I definitely do not want to change people for the reason of “me”, but for themselves. I believe in accepting people as who they are, but I also believe in challenging them to grow and evolve, and become better. Some people just don’t feel the need to grow anymore, or allow reasons to hold them back, but sometimes, being true to yourself is the very barrier that is stopping you for all other things. ^_^
Yep, I have to agree. I have had many fights with my boyfriend concerning the personality thing. It’s difficult thing, especially when one of us sees the other one needs to change, but doesn’t agree with that. It’s a hard topic, but we both matured by being away from each other. That was the worst option to choose, but he decided to join army so there was no way to be still together talking. It complicates our lives, but this way we grew up.
Sometimes we can’t realize what sucks about us. We are stubborn and so sure of yourself. The truth is it’s never like we think it is.
I like the new theme
i use to try to make everyone happy. it finally hit me that that’s just not possible. my new logic is that if they can’t take me as i am then i don’t need them in my life, and it’s their loss not mine. i have enough to focus on than to be burdened with their negativity or what not. of course this is easier said than done b/c sometimes i feel that there are some people that might eventually be useful (networking, etc). some times i think that people usually want to change their significant others more than their friends, but that’s just imo, b/c like you said – people will change themselves if they feel there is a need for it.
Your entry spoke to me. It is the solution to my current problem. And you are absolutely correct about changing or distancing yourself for the sake of your loved ones. Some people are too in denial to see that they are in fact being hurtful. Most times they are also in denial about their need to change. I don’t wanna get all long and drawn out like I usually do *lol* but do know that this really spoke to me…it brought me out of my lil denial. So yes, you’ve helped me. =]
[i LOVE the theme too.]
oh..do u wanna link exchange wit me??
I can’t believe people still think they can change someone. It’s definitely up to the person themselves to actually WANT to change.
Love the new layout, too~!!
This text is deep, looks like you really thought thoroughly about it.
To be honest, I sometimes feel as if society is trying to change me as a person. It is no longer accepted by society’s rules to be weak, to show your emotions. If someone wants to make it in this world (and I’m talking in terms of business leaders and such) one has to be strong. Like a rock. Inbreakable. Weakness is no longer accepted by nowadays social rules and that sucks. People should be able to be who they are deep inside, and everyone has their weak moment. It’s normal, it’s natural, it’s human.
Dammit I couldn’t have said it any better (as always). I wish everyone could read this. You have so many people out there who try to change someone to make them into what THEY want them to be. Then they want to get upset when the shit blows up in their face.
I could understand you helping someone…someone who wants to change. But other than that, leave them the hell alone.
All the best for 2008, Shannon!
And it is so true, you can not change anyone. They can only change themselves. I’ve struggled with my best friend, who was struggling with her own life and I wanted to help her change, but I couldn’t, and after 10 years of friendship I stopped helping her because I realised she didn’t wanna change herself. That’s when the friendship died, because she felt like I abondoned her.
I defintely feel like I need a change myself, and I know that I’m the only one who can help ME change, and that’s what I’m gonna do this year!
shan, your blogs are always so inspirational. you should really consider writing a book one day. i’d definitely buy it. :heart: i agree with the fact that that there’s never enough time for anything anymore! sometimes i leave my layouts up for MONTHS! haha. but i wish you the best for 2008 hun.
So true. I was just saying the exact same things about the father of my children and this whole ‘The new year will be better for me.’ crap. I hate when people say that. It’s not the change of the year that will determine whether it will be good or bad, it’s the people that you let in and out of your life who will determine that. You surround yourself with positive people, more than likely positive things will happen and visa versa.
Love the theme. You just reminded me to put mines up. LOL.
I agree with your post. Its time we learn that trying to change someone is like trying to find a needle in a haystack. I’m glad I acknowledge this. My main focus is myself and doing whats best for be for at the end of the day i’m the last person I see before i fall asleep.
Your themes are indeed amazing Shannon.
Hi! This is Dawn from kissthesunrise.daintystar.com my host just left, so i had to change hosts, please change my links to http://dawn.myimperfections.org/ thanks! sorry for this inconvenience!
i agree with you (and well said by the way!) you cant change anyone. god knows i’ve tried. but i’ve always tried to change people, for my benefit, not in the best for them. so maybe im selfish.
hope all is well…ill comment more, i just been super busy! xoxo
I did change a lot last year. I realized that I let people take advantage of me because I wasn’t a strong person. People hate to hear that they need to change. Once people get older they stay stuck in their ways and think that they’re always right because that’s what got them through their hard times. There’s always room for change. But that’s a decision you make on your own.
Yeah you really can’t change people, but you never know what kind of effect you have on people, so that’s why I agree with you saying always be yourself. With being yourself you have to have the confidence along with it, people who can’t be themselves most likely aren’t confident in their own selves and feel like they have to change for “people-pleasing” and sometimes it’s unconscious, especially if they do it all the time. I try to be myself most of the time and if someone doesn’t accept me the way I am, I don’t have to have anything to do with them, it’s either take me the way I am or leave me alone.
I do believe in change, but change for the better, if someone tells me I need to change something about myself, I do consider it, but if it’s something that doesn’t have to be changed, and something someone wants me to do because THEY want me to do it, that’s when it’s just a waste.
I see the same theme
Yep, the whole “you can lead a horse to water. but you can’t make it drink”.
I take the mentality too much to heart sometimes, not even telling the person what they do bothers me. I just think to myself “oh well, that’s them”, and take my distance lol
I like this theme (“Kodak Moments”)… I haven’t checked out the other ones yet.
Change is inevitable. It happens to everyone and everything. Majority of the time, change happens based on surroundings. So if a person is surround by negativity or had something bad happen to them, more than likely this person will change for the worst. Unless they take it as a lesson in life, and make something positive out of that negative. I guess, it all depends on how a person reacts to a situation… But it’s up to that person if s/he wants to make a change.
I hope I made some sense? Haha. To me, it’s late and I have work early in the morning, but can’t seem to fall asleep.