So it has come to pass, that I have begun to rid myself of idiotic people in my life. I’m realizing that the reason for my sometimes miserable moods is that I spend too much time worrying about when people are going to grow the hell up. It seems that I’m a magnet for people who are just clueless about life and responsibility. They sit around being pampered all day and I just don’t have the time for childish behaviors. I can say, that I grew up quicker than most, it was sort of a forced thing given the things that my family endured. However, I was always a mature girl. Then there came a point in my life after my mom died. I felt lost and didn’t really know what to do with myself. I maintained some kind of sanity, though.
There was even a time after my son was born when I felt so overwhelmed with life. I was so lost, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I can honestly be one to admit, that I was not ready for a child because I knew it would be hard. I’m living it everyday though and I would never want to rewind time. I will admit that I’m a single mother, in a sense and it has made me stronger than I have ever been in my life. Single mothers are judged all of the time and you know what, it doesn’t bother me because anyone who is strong enough to take care of and raise a child is far more blessed than anyone who will ever judge them. Now, by me being a single mother, I mean, my child’s father and I aren’t together and I’m a mother that has my child majority of the time.
Something most of you may not know about me is that I have a short fuse. I’m easily pissed off and I go into stages of infuriation and adrenaline rushes. I’m 23 years old and I have high blood pressure, that speaks for itself. It gets so bad sometimes that I have to leave rooms or go get fresh air to relax myself or I’ll completely go into fits of rage. It’s quite simple really. I grew up in a strict home and life was taken very seriously, so when I see people do or say really stupid things, I don’t understand it. I question their reasoning and intelligence and their stupidity enrages me. This is especially common when I witness older people behaving like children or doing stupid shit. But I’m learning that not everyone grows at the same pace. Not everyone matures as quickly as others. With this knowledge, I’m able to control my anger a bit more than I used to.
I have never gotten too personal on my website but what fun would it be for you guys to come here and only see half of what I am? I’ve decided to get just a bit more personal. After all, this is my website and I pay for it, I should be able to express myself as freely as I’d like to. However, some entries will remain private because not everything is for all eyes to see. I’d use my livejournal for private entries but then why am I paying for this website? Screw that, I’ll be utilizing this shit to the best that I can for the amount that I pay to keep it running. You can register if you’re not already registered. Just keep in mind that any strange usernames or emails will be declined. People think they’re so slick trying to register for my site using weird shit. Admit that you’re nosy as hell and move on.
On a different note, site wise, I know that my smilies are a bit out of wack. I’m in the process of fixing that right now. I upgraded wordpress and forgot to change the smilie codes and what not. Then I tried to upgrade to vista, which would have worked out fine if it hadn’t been eating the memory off of my computer. Most of the programs I tried to install didn’t work well with vista anyway. And the sad part of it all is, I did something during the process of all this switching and lost alot of my files. I’m still mad about that. I usually back things up but I’ve been so exhausted that I haven’t been paying full attention to much. It’s alright, though. I can get everything back, hopefully. I switched back to Windows XP. To hell with Vista, that shit is a mess.
Life should never be rewind… it should be there to remind you of where you came from, and how you are the way you are today because of the past. You’re a very strong and courageous person. I don’t look down on single mothers, but I tend to ask the ones who has a child, and don’t even care for them, or doesn’t even push themselves to the limit for their own flesh and blood, and dish their responsibilities off to others. But I’m glad to hear that you’re the loving one.
Anger and a short fuse could be a good or a bad thing… sometimes, living in anger or a short temper makes you live shorter, because you lose sight of all the beauty that surrounds you, all the wonderfulness that could be under that person that is lost in the heat of fire.
This post reminds me of the first post I ever read on your site. I think it’s not just that not everyone grows at the same pace, but backgrounds are important too. You had a tough life and you came out stronger because of it (which is amazingly admirable btw!), but some never had that. I can get jealous of those people without a care in the world, who had the perfect life growing up. I’m cynical, they’re immature. So I totally don’t blame you for making that decision to remove them from your life. I think it’s a pretty wise decision.
I think it’s great that you’re becoming more personal here. I know it’s hard to open up. I’ve registered with my name.
i try to keep my more personal entries on my livejournal just because of the whole password thing. i just don’t want my blog to be passworded. i may do it in the future if i really have to.
and as for your rage thing, i feel like i am in the same boat as you. it pisses me off to see grown ass people doing dumb things. stupidity is something i just will never tolerate.
I respect you because , although I’m not one and hope that one day I won’t be one I’m sure being a single mother is hard . Heck , I used to work from 9am-9pm then come home and babysit my niece till 1-2am . The mess stressed me out so I can just imagine what it’s like having a child of your own and caring for them 24/7 .
Good thing you’re ridding those people out of your life , they only make things worse and try to keep you down .
I completely understand where you are coming from. I get chest pains, because I go into raging fits and get pissed pretty easily. Like you, I am a magnet for ignorant people. I have always been the one who had to work for EVERYTHING in my life, whilst they received money from their parents for everything and didn’t need to work. I have stopped surrounding myself with these people, because it only brings me down. I’m tired of comparing my life to them and feeling somewhat jealous of what I don’t have, instead of what I do have.
Just look at it this way – you function better in life, because you made yourself on your own terms, instead of having someone do it for you.
I agree. This is your site and if you feel the need to express yourself freely, than you should! I’ll definitely be registering for private posts
I was raised by an (almost) single mother, so I’ve watched first-hand how hard the life of a single mother can be. (I say almost because it’s not like my dad left, he’s just away on business trips so much, that my mum had to take care of me 99% of the time, while owning a business etc.) But my mum was very patient despite her hardships and I really admire her strength to go through it all.
I understand your rage and anger at others idiocy; I used to be the same. I used to be extremely hot and quick tempered. Over time, I just learned to accept that everybody is different, and not everybody has been BLESSED with a life that gives us strength and a sense of responsibility. So, in the end, we, the precocious, move forward while they, the pampered, stagnate. Knowing that has given me an incredible sense of power, and has drastically gotten rid of any anger that used to harbor.
So, continue being strong, Shannon. You’re on the right path.
Being a single parent, now that’s a tough job. I’m not sure if I’d be able to handle such. I must add though that you have a really handsome son. You seem like someone who has her head on staright and can do anything you put your mind to. Just try not to let anyone control you by getting you upset. “He who angers you, controls you”
Some people may know what sets you off and do it on purpose, doesn’t matter if it’s their stupidity, in life we have to deal with all different types of people. Make the best of it. Worry Not!
hey lady, just wanted to stop by and say hello. i’ve got so much going on i can’t think straight to comment other than saying hi. hope all finds you and your family doing well, type to you soon :heart:
I feel you. I’ve let a billion people go and once I did I just felt so at peace with myself. Just not having to deal with any kind of stresses..not having to worry about BS! It’s just so relaxing.
I used to do that. Go from blogging bits and pieces then going to LJ and letting it all air. Then I thought about it like..why not there? I don’t think I care anymore if people stumble across my feelings anymore or being scared of being too personal..
sounds like our tempers are alike. I have a very short fuse when it comes to people acting stupid. stay strong!
much love and respect!
I’ve been getting rid of the idiotic people in my life too. It just puts so much stress on me & I don’t have time for it. I wish I could be ~personal~ with my site but people start complaining so I guess I’ll stick with el jay. I’m adding you btw if you don’t mind.
It’s crazy how we grow up and learn things. I feel like I do have a lot of growing up to do and when I go through something it feels like everything crashes down at once so I’m forced to grow up. At the end of the day I don’t really regret going through so much though.
I think being a single parent is very noble. I don’t understand why people look down on it. Would they rather the parents stay together and raise a child in an unhappy home? Just don’t get it.
Ya, it’s hard to see older people acting so immature when you’re younger than them acting more mature. Just have to realize some people don’t “get it” they think they can act like a fool and stay young forever. One day they’ll realize life isn’t all about fun & games.
It’s not just you who can’t stand immature people. I just made a post about getting rid of some “friends” a few days ago. Good luck and take care of yourself.
Right now…I won’t lie. I want to rewind time. Only up to 06′. Where my life really began. You have alot of courage to font your life. For the past two years I’ve been getting to know you trhough your blogs and to me you’re so strong. You have a beautiful son and you still have your siblings. Things in life happen so sudden that you feel like you’re lost. But as time go by, the pieces come together. One thing I learned while growing up is, that you have to hold your own in this world. There is people that will hold you down and say all kinds of things to hurt you. Only because they are misserable themselves. They tell you [you can't do this and that] because THEY can’t do it. I matured at 9. I matured so much I could understand just about everything that comes out of my mothers’ mouth when she was talking with grown folks. Sad but true. Every one has a story. But yours is touching.
I believe my next blog will be personal. I don’t know how to fix the password on my WP. Maybe you can help me?
Sometimes, I feel like I need to rewind time but, truth is where we are right now is far better then where we were. I admire your strength…. Girl you know how strong you are! You know, Shannon, You are a true meaning of the term single mother. Its difficult but you make it seem so simple.
The world is, indeed, a very sad place sometimes.
People are sometimes very “lazy,” or… I don’t know the word for it… just unwilling to take responsibilities.
It must be hard when you’ve gone through tough things, got through with it, and other people are whining and complaining about lesser things.
But after all, they’re pampered; they know no better.
I hope you can get yourself relaxed and out of the situation.
Thank you. I know how you feel. To always have your friends on your mind and for what? For them to take you FOR GRANTED! Sorry, I was having a moment. I just don’t understand…
wow girlie. really deep! but your son is gorgeous just like you, i wouldnt want to rewind time either!
you are lucky in my eyes. the hubby and i cant have kids naturally.
sorry i havent been on, i been packing. i am moving in less then a month so i will be really busy. but i will try to comment as much as possible!
xox
It bothers me when people prejudge all single mother, seeing what my cousin goes through and I agree that any woman to bore children and raise them is strong. It is interesting for you to discuss your anger issues or short fuse because I’m going through the same thing. I do admit that anger management helps. I’m guilty of using Livejournal for more private entires because online is a small world. Sometimes you have to sit back and just realize what you have at stake
Wow, just by reading your blog entries and stuff on your site I would have never guess that you had a “short fuse”. I thought you were just like everyone else and you need to vent from time to time.
But I know what its like to have a temper that tries to rear its ugly head all the time. I don’t think I know to the magnitude that you do, but with how ignorant and stupid people can be it is easily understood. It is hard to control your anger sometimes, its def. something that I am actively working on.
And I know exactly what you are saying about livejournal and your website. That is part of the reason I do not update mine anymore. I just update my private entries and keep it moving. But who knows, I might post their occasionally or something.
” I’m learning that not everyone grows at the same pace”
OMG It’s so funny because I need to learn this lesson as well. We need to let it go.
When ppl decide that they know everything (you can’t tell them nothing) and they do NOT have the INSIGHT to see how they are acting, you just have to leave their immature asses where they are and move on…. They will NEVER learn on your time…. it will take them longer and we don’t have time to wait for ppl who are not on our level to get there…… flick ya wrist and say “buh-bye” and do you =} O well, just another dummy that you do not have to deal with.
[as far as the comment you left me] Girl, I’m glad you feel I wasn’t wrong. My sister said I was so I need another opinion. Lol. What on earth does “WB” mean? I guess I am slow at times!
PS – I adore this layout, It is so simple but it catches your attention! :crush:
You seem to deal with your anger a lot better then I do, and I definitely have a lot of respect for you about that. And, I hate when people judge you for who you are — such as in your case, being a single mother. Just remember this, it only proves that they’re shallow, and they probably aren’t nearly as strong as you.
Hay Shannon!
Glad you found me back girl.. (how actually?)
I’m going to link you as soon as I add my affies section aight?
And about your blog.. yeah I so know where you coming from on the “pampered peeps” Lmfao on that!
And it’s a good decision of you to stop the contacts.. because you will only wais your energy on them, and get mayby get 20% or less back..
And I also know what you mean about your mother.. I lost my dad too, and I can imagine that it would be even worse when your mother dies..sorry for that <3
I respect you for being such a good mom which I believe out of your words..
I think single mothers are the strongest women out there. because yes, its hard raising a kid by themselves. i don’t know what it is like being a single mother. but i would think it would be hard and it would be a struggle.
as for vista. yeah vista sucks. i’m used to it because it was installed into my brand new computer. you made a good choice on switching back to windows xp. trust me you aren’t missing a lot with vista.
so i think you are absolutely AWESOME for being a single mom that actually takes care of their child… and im really dissappointed you dont like vista, cus i planned on upgrading sometime next week when i got paid
Yes! Vista is a mess. You are way better off with XP.
Anyway, I’ve said it before and I’m going to say it again. You are a very strong woman. Everything that you’ve been through made you who you are and prepared you to be ready for anything.
I don’t think you’re wrong at all for wanting to rid yourself of immature people. It’s one of the best moves I’ve made and will probably be one of the best moves you’ll make.
I don’t look down on single mothers, as long as their doing what they need to do. Otherwise they’re just bad parents like those raising children together can be.
I’m sometimes bothered by how dumb other people can be. But, much less than before. The 2424th time my mom told me I need to chose my battles wisely, it sunk in, lol.
Yeah, I’m hoping my new laptop will have XP. Vista is too new. Microsoft needs months to get their stuff right.