Here it is, a little after 7:15 am and I’m still having trouble sleeping. I now work the night shift at my job, because of some issues I’m having at home and what not. I thought I’d be on track with sleeping again and I was for a short time, but then I went back to my same old sleeping habits. It’s just that sometimes the stress can pile up and get to me after a while. I’m dealing with everything the best way that I can, though. I’m too stubborn to settle for anything less than that.
I remember there was a time in my life when I felt like I could never fit into what was going on around me. I was a lot different than the people who resided in my area of town and normally it would have made me feel like an outsider but in a weird way, I didn’t. At times I often felt like everyone else were the outsiders. I was just mentioning that because sometimes I feel older than I am. I feel like I’ve lived more than half of my life through already. I never could really relate to people my age. I’ve always gotten along better with older people and sometimes even older people look to me for advice and/or support. There were even times online where I would chat with people and never revealed my age or what I looked like. They would often admit to assuming that I was much older after I’d tell them my age. Believe it or not I’m very fond of 50′s and 60′s music and culture and I feel drawn to those times in a weird way, often wishing that I had grown up in those times. It would be nice to get that firsthand experience.
There is something else that bothers me about myself. I’m a hoarder. In case any of you do not know what that is, it is a person or animal, that keeps things stored. It’s often used to describe someone who keeps things he/she will probably never need but believes he/she will anyway. I keep all kinds of things and when I clean I have trouble parting with some stuff. My PC died months ago and even though I had my laptop I still had trouble parting with my PC. It was because I’d had it for so long, it had sentimental value to me. I just threw it away last week. I kept some of the parts of course, which were practically brand new. I plan on trying to change that about myself. Slowly I’ve been throwing things away that I’ve had for years and have not used. It’s sad to say that when I throw away those things, I start thinking about them afterward. It’s very strange to me but I don’t want to become an obsessive hoarder. It gets so bad with people that sometimes their homes become cluttered.
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I was trying to figure out why the Lightbox plugin just doesn’t work for me. I’ve tried everything. The Flickr Manager plugin works for me as you can see on my services page. It has a Lightbox integrated in it. At first I thought maybe this plugin was giving me the trouble but I deactivated it and tried the Lightbox plugin again. No luck. So eventually I gave up. I know I’ll come back to it later to try to figure it out but I lost patience with it temporarily. I’ve been considering using dynamic sidebars. I’ve been practicing and pretty much gotten the hang of them but I’m just not sure if it’s something I want to do with my site. I will see. I’ve been fixing things up with this theme because I think in the near future I may change the colors up or even add a header. The possibilities are endless. 
I’d like to thank you all for your comments on my new theme. Take care. :love:
I tend to stop by often, simply because i feel some sort of closure over here. Some of the things you blog about I can relate to just because its like that for me. I used to hold on to things forever even if i don’t need it… twhen i finally decided on getting rid of it after i ran out of storage space… The hard part is of course missing the things you never used or needed in the first place.
My blogs never really reflect the real me but its funny how when you tend to talk to people who don’t know you or anything like that, they say how “mature” you are for your age… I simply reply stating that when you experience a difficult /challenging situation in life, however you choose to look at it, It can either make or break you.
This theme is indeed Beautiful…. oh hopefully you are able to find a schedule sleeping pattern.
Is dynamic sidebars when your sidebar changing with each page? If so, it’s pretty nifty but seems like a lot of work haha. And I can relate. While I don’t want to travel to the 50′s or 60′s (lol), there have been times where I’ve felt like I was a grandma stuck in a teenagers body. It’s just based on my moral, beliefs, and perceptions I have. The way I think seems not of my generation so it leads me to think that I am a grandma, in a teenagers body! Eh, good luck with not being a hoarder, I’m sure you’ll be able to become less of a hoarder. I don’t necessarily see it as a bad thing though, unless you have rooms upon rooms filled with “useless” junk.
I definitely know what you mean about not fitting in with those around you. Sometimes I feel as if I’m living in the wrong time or place, but then a part of me thinks that maybe I’ve been giving these feelings of not belonging for a reason. I just wish that I knew what that reason was…perhaps it would help me figure out what I’m suppose to be doing with my life.
I’d wish you luck with the hoarding…but I’ve become sort of one myself. Unfortunately, I know the reason for doing so…I’m deathly afraid that we are going to experience another fire or something and I’ll lose all my belongings.
Maybe you have a reason that you hoard things?
As for the trouble sleeping…I honestly have nothing to say about it…especially since I’m having trouble sleeping myself. :annoyed: At one time it was so bad that I was kissing my pillow ‘good night’…and it worked for awhile…but not anymore. I hope that you figure something out.
Motherfucker. Lol, I was about to submit and canceled out of firefox!! Why me LORD. Anyways to try and go back to what I said, I can relate to what you mean. I was always “mature for my age” during my time in high school. I wish I wasn’t but I experienced a lot at a young age which kind of forced me to be so “mature.” Unfortunately I feel a little robbed of enjoying my time during high school. I had a hard time confiding in my friends because they were backstabbers and I ended up with being able to trust 2 people out of my whole high school career. Even now I tend to hang with a 30+ crowd because they know I’m a laid back person and I don’t do unnecessary drama. They always forget how “young” I am. But I know I can trust them because what grown ass woman gossip.
Anyways as far as being a hoarder,my father got us this sony vaio desktop pc back in like 01 I loved the hell out of that computer! Well my sister & I ran it into the ground and it just stopped working for us like 2 years ago. But I got a laptop and moved on after awhile my mom was tired of it just sitting in the room LOL. So we had no choice but to toss it!
never settle for less! go for a run if you are stressed
good for the soul
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aww you have an old soul. thats a good thing. i love old souls. they tend to be very insightful and genuine people, you’ve shown those characteristics many times. i actually noticed it a long time ago. =] embrace your old soul grannie j/k lol
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people sometimes think i’m older than i am also. it’s not a bad thing … or at least i tell myself that anyway. the way i see it, we’re just more mature than others our age. my grandma, dad, and youngest sister are hoarders also! i use to be but i changed that habit when i saw my room at home. when i was in school i got so much better at being able to throw things away. it’s definitely easier with non-sentimental things, but realizing you keep a lot of things and wanting to change that is the first step!
the dynamic sidebars are cool. i finally dl’ed a WP theme and am in the middle of figuring out how to customize it the way i want. anyhoo, take care!
Funny how ppl always wish they lived in a earlier time but people living in that desired era probably looked to a better future. I can’t explain it =]
I never fit in with ppl my age. I’m not saying i’m someo sort of floozy or a hot pants but I guess fit in with the older folk. Dunno if it’s my mentality or my peers being a little too iritating…dunno >_<
I’m sort of a pack rat myself. I can’t let anything go because I swear I’ll have use for it in the future, dunno why the duece I do that! Kinna working on getting out of that bad habbit =]
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I feel like that sometimes as well. Sometimes I wish I could been born in the 80′s. You’re mature beyond your years, that’s why people think you’re older than what you really are.
The time has come for me to thoroughly clean my room, because in the fall I’ll be off to college. I have the same exact problems with hoarding. I still have all my middle school display board projects. lol. I think for some reasons I might need them. But, I know I won’t. My PC died as well, when I was in middle school yet it still sits next to me as I type, collecting dust and taking up space. I wanted to get it fixed and fill it with nothing but sims 2 stuff. lol Someday I might.
What is it like working nights? I’m in search for a job and some positions are overnight. Does your social life falter?
I am definitely a hoarder too. I have a problem with sales too. I tend to buy large amounts of products just because they’re on sale. It drives my room mate crazy too
Oh well.
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I’m the opposite of hoarder. I will throw something away in a second. I despise clutter. I’d rather the space be empty.
People say I act older than my age. But, my babyface makes them think I’m like 12, lol.
I need to adopt better sleeping habits too
Hello Shannon, I apologize that it’s been a while since I last commented, hehe. But you must know that I visit your blog regularly for new entries with most of them, if not all of them, I can totally relate to.
I am totally a hoarder. I find it very difficult for me to part with most of my stuff, even if I don’t need them anymore. Like really don’t need them anymore. I always tell myself that I might need to use them in future. Haha. My parents, especially my father, are always nagging about that habit of mine. Hehe.
I’m very fond of oldies music too. Though I haven’t really thought much about what it would be like to live in that era, hee.
I haven’t commented on your new theme, but gosh, it looks awesome! Like always.
It’s always the hardest to try to maintain your standards and expectations… but we end up failing ourselves when we put the bar too high. Sometimes, you should relax… and let tomorrow worry about tomorrow, and today worry about today. You’re not really living when you are constant fighting stress, and working hard and trying to maintain everything to your standard… then it just kind of shows an inflexible side of you right? I’m sorry if I sound harsh or mean or anything, it’s not my intention. But reading some self-help books has really taught me that no one else is responsible for you except for you, which includes your own emotions and mental state. Give yourself a break sometimes… and really, enjoy life ^_^ Even if you can spend one day… it would be really well worth it ^_^
Ach… my mom is a hoarder… she’s used the same pots for over 10 years, and she keeps piling them with new ones. It drives me nuts. Thank goodness I have my own place now, I try not to take after her, just trying to keep things clean.
Anyways… hope things will work out for you, and remember to take a breather!
I’ve often been told that I act older than my age. Unlike some people, I think of it as a good think because it means I’m that much more mature, and the first thought would be that if you’re older you’re wiser (though it’s not always true); That is how I take it.
So sorry that you haven’t been getting enough sleep. Whatever stress is keeping you from a good nights rest, hopefully will blow over soon. Continue to be an optimist and everything should fall into place.
<3
Its not shocking that a lot of people (including I) feel the same way you do. I think thats one of the driving forces for one to create a blog. I’ve always felt that writing was good for people who have a diffrent view of life then their piers.
I’ve felt this way for the majority of my life. Some of the contributing factors were that my mother and father were separated and I live with my mother. I’m my mothers only child. On my fathers side I have 2 sisters and a brother who are wayyyy older than I so it was like I was the only child all around because I was a child with a bunch of adults around me. I was always into adult things and I could hold an adult or older conversation better then my age group. It used to make me feel weird all the time. It wasn’t like I couldn’t relate to kids my age, but I wasn’t tolerant to their stupidity lol! Still till this day I’d rather turn on an Earth, Wind & Fire album (and I do mean album, drop the needle on the turn table) then some of the junk (ehem, Ushers new album) put out today. :tongue:
Oh and I’m a hoarder too. That is why I even have old make-up that is no good but I refuse to part with it .. like I’m ever going to use it again.
I actually read this blog the night you posted it and the next day I looked under my bed. I have shoe boxes full of stuff. I honestly am a huge hoarder. I’ve been trying to learn to part with my things so that whenever the time comes that I am able to move out, I can just get going.
I haven’t related to anyone on an age level as I am that I know outside of the internet besides my boyfriend. I don’t intend to do so, it’s just whenever I start talking to someone they are interested in spending time out doing things that I just don’t feel the need to do right now. I feel like I’d be wasting my life away, trying to fit in with everyone else. I feel like often they’re wasting their own lives away but I guess it’s best to focus on how to maintain peace within yourself.
Good luck with your dynamic sidebars. I don’t know what they are but they sound like a headache.
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Dynamic Sidebars contain sidebar information that change every time you switch pages.
I feel you.For me,i feel like an outcast a lot of times but they say its just a feeling? Trying to change that…
I understand your thing when it comes to sleep,My sleeping schedule is waaaay off track been trying to fix it.I can relate to when it comes to fitting in.This blog is a lil deep …
you’ll probably be able to get it together.
interesting,I’ll bookmark you
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There is this spray that you put on your pillow that will knock you out. Helps ease you to sleep. It kind of stinks which is why you don’t smother your pillow with it. It just rocks you seriously to sleep.
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