When I was younger, I did a lot of thinking about how my life would turn out, or rather, how I wanted it to turn out. Nowadays, I live day by day constantly daydreaming and wishing that certain things would cross my path so that I could achieve certain things. Daydreaming and wishing had always been pointless to me and I’d label myself more of a “go-getter” than anything else but for some time I felt robotic as if just maybe I’d taken life too seriously. I possessed an imaginary mind but I hadn’t put it to much use when it came to my own life. That was a mistake because after a while, I felt like I shouldn’t have any dreams because they’d never come true anyway. I thought that having a serious and stable life plan was all that I needed to succeed. Boy, was I wrong…

It’s good to have a serious and stable life plan but one without any imagination can prove to be quite boring and can cause one to stray away from that plan if the boringness of it all completely takes over. That was what was happening to me. I’d allowed the boring parts of my life to dominate everything else and I found that dreams seemed far away and unreachable because my life just wasn’t that exciting. In 2009, there was a change. I’d started to go out more and see more things that I’d wanted. Although I’m still a simple woman, I’ve discovered that there are many other simple things that I desire as well.

My appearance was the first change that I saw in myself. I wanted to be more girly. I’d always been a tomboy most of my life and to be honest, I could care or less what my hair looked like half the time. I’d just brush it and call it a day. I started doing more with my hair, dressing in skirts and much more girlish attire and I’d even began to wear handbags. I’d struggled with handbags the most growing up because I often felt like they were too bulky to be carrying around. One day I was out shopping and I found the cutest black leather handbag and I just had to have it, so I bought it. It was a nice size actually and a lot bigger than the smaller handbags I’d seen other women wear. It suited me though, it fit me. It intrigued me how one little handbag made me feel like such a woman. As more time passed, I noticed that I’d began to want even more womanly things and I realized that I was growing out of my shell, so to speak. However, I’d never even wandered into the thought process of buying things like makeup and things of that sort. That’s just too much for me and it’s way beyond my tastes. I believe that every woman can be confident without makeup and I know that some people’s reason for wearing it is because they “just like to” but it’s just not my thing.

I have always been a family oriented person and now that I have both a daughter and a son, I am completely satisfied with what God has given me. I have lived with my sisters my entire life even after my mother passed and this year has been the year that I’ve truly been in deep thought about venturing off into my own life with my babies. I have had some family issues and half of the reason I want to leave is because of those issues. But the other half is because I want more in my life and I cannot do that while being around and taking care of other people. I use to feel selfish for even considering it, but no one is selfish in the quest for happiness, especially when he/she isn’t doing anything to purposely harm anyone else.

My journey has begn. I am starting with 101 things as well, so look forward to seeing that on my website in the near future.