My July 4th was pretty sucky to be honest. I didn’t do anything. That’s a long story within itself that I won’t even get into. To be honest, my spirit for the holidays has died since I was a little girl. I don’t even know why, but I do think that I have a clue as to why. Ever since my mother passed, I haven’t been that enthused about the holidays. She was the one who hooked everything up and got us into the spirit of things. Now, as the holidays approach, my mind is usually on the fact that she isn’t around to celebrate them with us. It makes it a little depressing. I do, however, try to make the best of the holidays for the kids at least. They are young enough where they can’t really tell that I’m not really into things. Maybe in time this will change. My birthday is in less than two weeks and I’m definitely not enthused about that either. In my opinion, turning 25 is nothing to be happy about. I’m grown already! I can drink and all of that good stuff so 25 isn’t really a significant number. To be honest, it feels strange that I am getting older but that’s life.
I have been slacking when it comes to design but I’ve realized that I can’t rush these things. I’m not always in the mood for it so ideas don’t come flowing to me. It’s just not my calling. When I wake up, design is the last thing that’s on my mind. I don’t live for it and Photoshop is not always open. I have to applaud the people who do have the passion for it. It does take a lot of patience. It’s just a hobby for me. I have been completing mixtape covers and posters for family members and friends but it doesn’t go beyond that these days. I shouldn’t even feel obligated to doing anything website related. I like having my own blogging site though. Both my website and livejournal serve their purposes. Everythin juice about my life is over on my livejournal. There’s nothing too juicy so don’t get overly excited.
As you can see, I have a new theme that I absolutely adore. I’ve been tweaking it for the last couple of days and I feel like I’ve really outdone myself this time. For some of you, it may seem like a simple theme, but for me to actually have time to complete one is an accomplishment to me. I’ve added a form for you guys to subscribe if you want to. It’s nothing that serious but I know that some people like to keep up with feeds. I know that I do. When I visit interesting sites, I often look for the feeds so that I can check them on my google reader or subscribing by email is cool too.
I must admit, I have been in better moods lately because I think that my family is starting to learn about responsibility. I have lived with my sisters all of my life and one of my biggest worries was that they would never grow up and would always be immature. Well, they’ve proved me wrong for once because instead of me having to take care of all of the bills like I usually do, they took two bills off of my hands this month. I was so happy and it made them happy knowing that they took some stress off of my back. Things are looking up for my family and I hope that things continue on the right path.
Random Tidbit. I love my G1 but I am seriously considering purchasing a blackberry. Some feedback from blackberry users would be appreciated. I want to know some things about the phone. What are the advantages and disadvantages. All of that good stuff.
I don’t celebrate American holidays. That’s 1. No offense to anyone. I am not American born. Never felt very obligated to. I passed 4th of July like an exam. Easy. Moving on. I’m turning 24 in 2 months. I feel old. Super old. I was expecting 21 to pass me so quick. It’s like I completed a lot of my goals but not enough.
Designing is no longer my thing. I made that decision final. I don’t have the time. Especially with this baby coming and me trying to graduate! NO! it’s not gonna work. Blogging is enough for me. Even if it’s with the same old theme. lol
I love ALL of your themes. No ass kissing! I’m fa real. They always look so organized, direct to the point and clean. No mistakes. That’s what I aim for.
I am looking for my mom to help me out with these bills. It’s bad enough that I am paying this mortgage on my own and then some…I’m proud of your sisiters too. That’s a big step.
I am not a BB lover. Stick to the G1.
Designing isn’t the same as it used to be. The great thing -the ability to take on a project because of the skills to do so. Agree with Kay where your themes are concerned.
I am sorry to hear that you haven’t been in the spirit of things when it comes to holidays
I hope one day that will change for you. Missing a loved one can be tough, and I am sure whatever you do in life your Mom would have wanted you to feel happy. It’s good to know your sisters are stepping up and learning from what you have taught them 
In due time (hopefully sooner than later) they will realize ALL that you have done for them and really kick it up a notch. For now, the little things do matter though. As for your snazzy phone..I am stuck on Black Jack 2 and I have no interest in to converting to BB even though I hear a lot about it! Its either that or the iphone =l I don’t even like looking at the commercials on TV any more >_< Lol Whatever you decided I hope its a reliable phone & service.
I feel ya on the holiday situation. Lately, I’ve been wanting to stay home with my immediate family and celebrate a holiday. After a while, you get tired of being around big crowds and eating nasty food. *Pause* I can totally imagine how you feel since your mom is not around to celebrate an holiday. I was away from my mom for the first time (for the 4th) and it totally lowered my spirits.
I’ve realized that web design/graphic design is a hobby for me. I used to love it but now, I’m kinda over it. I’ve always wanted to go to school to become a web designer. When I got to that stage, I started to hate it. It’s funny how things work out.
It’s good your sister is helping out with bills. When I get my government grants from school, I always give my mom 1/3 of the money to go towards bills. They are definitely growing up and gaining some responsibility. Kudos to them! ♥
I think after you turn 21, birthdays aren’t really that exciting… so I feel you on that. I can also understand why you’re not too enthused during the holidays as of lately.
Also, I’m the same these days with designing. I used to be all up on it, but these days I’m just doing album covers, flyers, and occasional designs for myself (somewhere to release creative flow that I might be having). I don’t really make layouts anymore (unless it’s for my myspace). I don’t update my site as often as I used to either, sometimes I feel obligated to do it. I guess other sites are consuming my time… when it comes to the internet. Haha. -Shrug.
That’s great that your family is taking some responsibility. I can’t wait until my brother goes to college or gets a job or something more concrete than smoking weed and drinking.
I don’t seem to get very excited about holidays either anymore. I guess because I’m not a little kid anymore. I do try to get into it for my kids though.
And the birthday thing, yeah… birthdays just aren’t too special after you turn 21. It’s like that’s the last one where you’re all excited to be able to do something, and the birthdays after that are just another day like all the rest. I didn’t do much for my birthday last month and I turned 23.
Your new theme does look really great.
Thank you. It was a hard decision to make, but I think it’s what’s going to be best for everyone involved.
Since this is my first time commenting at your blog, let me first say that I’m sorry to hear of the loss of your mother; I’m sure she was a very significant figure in your life and given that, I’m sure anyone can understand why the value of the holidays has lost their worth.
That being said, I’ve never celebrated holidays or bdays because of my religious upbringing and to a degree I feel they are overrated but that could be because I’ve never participated in any of the festivities associated with them. I will say that the holidays and the celebration of your bday are what you make them. You have to think to yourself if your mother would want you to be so dismal around these special times or would she want you to more or less continue the tradition with your own children. Only you can decide what these days are worth to you; maybe they have forever lost that value. The fact of the matter is that you are an adult and the novelty of those days may grow less important as you continue to get older and in that case, such is life. The way I see it, if you can wake up every day and be thankful to God for something, then that is something worth celebrating.
See you around the blogosphere!
Hey, I’m love love LOVIN’ the new theme! I wish I could pull off some shit like that. It’s awesome though.
And there’s a good reason why you’re not that into holidays now that your mother’s gone. It’s hard to celebrate things when the people you love the most aren’t there to celebrate with you.